Sorry to be late this week. I’m in Dallas taking care of my son after his shoulder surgery. But when I saw this week’s photo prompt by Madison Woods, it elicted a yummy, tingling taste in my mouth, and I had to take the opportunity to write about it.
This week, I’ve written a tanka, which is like a haiku, but its syllable structure is 5-7-5-7-7.
Click here to read other great flash fiction!
Jan Morrill Writes 
Reblogged this on Life: Haiku by Haiku and commented:
A tanka based on Madison Woods’ photo prompt.
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Beautiful and apt tanka. Kudos! Wishign your son speedy recovery and good rest. Mine is here and linked: http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/06/29/fridayfictioneers-seduction
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That’s so kind of you, Celestine! My son is doing fine, and I think enjoying a little extra attention. 🙂
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You’re good at these short poems. I wish I knew more about poetry forms.
Once again, I ventured into the land of silliness
http://russellgayer.blogspot.com/
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Russell, don’t EVER apologize for your silliness. It’s one of the things I look forward to every Friday. 🙂
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Love it.
http://logo-ligi.com/2012/06/28/w-m-d/
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Thank you, Kwadwo!
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delicious!
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Thanks! We planted raspberries this year, and I can’t wait until we harvest our first crop!
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I know what you mean. I love my berry plants!
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Short and sweet. Well done.
Mine: http://adamickes.wordpress.com/2012/06/29/berry-tester/
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Thanks, Adam! I liked the dialogue-only form you used in your dastardly tale. 🙂
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Well done Jan. It’s very Happy! I’m currently 11 on the list.
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Thanks, Nifti. Yours was a sensual delight!
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This is why I love haiku and tanka. Wonderful job.
Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/may-the-punishment-fit/
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Thanks, Maggie! I don’t know which I like more — reading or writing haiku and tanka.
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My husband and I went for a walk late night and eagerly eyed the seemingly millions of white blossoms of the brambleberries. Well written poem of EXACTLY what I was looking at last night! I couldn’t have put it better myself…
~Susan (www.susanwenzel.com)
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I’m glad you could relate, Susan. 🙂
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I love your third line – it’s surprising and amusing that it only needed one word. And such a good word – “anticipation” seems to draw itself out tantalizingly as you say it, just like waiting for something wonderful!
My story – http://newpillowbook.wordpress.com/2012/06/29/friday-fictioneers-summer-love/
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(I love the last line too – I want to read it as “Tangy! sweet! bursts! on my tongue”, just like the berries exploding in little bursts of flavor that linger in your mouth. You have a wonderful way of making the sound of your words fit the sense of the poem.)
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Thanks! That’s a good idea — like individual berries dancing on my tongue.
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Thank you, newpillowbook. You’re right, there’s something very anticipatory about saying “anticipation.” 🙂
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Either I’ve been reading too much Shakespeare or there’s a double meaning in this — either way, I’m walking away hungry… and hungry!
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Ha! I love that, Kathy. I didn’t intend a double meaning, but when I went back and read it again, there was definitely something Freudian there. 🙂
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Great introduction to a tanka for me! Ha, and like Kathy I’m not sure if it’s just me or if there’s really a double meaning here, but either way it’s effective.
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I like that you and Kathy saw a double meaning. Thanks, Brian. 🙂
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So the event is tasting the berries and the temporariness of the berries replaces the love/romantic aspect of the tanka. It’s an original idea! The whole could be a reference to humans, anyway. Very clever! My story’s on the list.
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Thank you, Lady Marilyn! I especially like writing a “double entendre” story. 🙂
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You hit the nail on the head. My feelings as I walk my berry patch in the morning sun to pluck the ripened berries. Yumm
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Thanks, Swirling Turnip. My mouth waters just thinking about it!
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LOVED it. May have to try one next week. Sweet!
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Thanks, Stacey. I’ll look forward to reading your haiku or tanka next week. 🙂
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Love it!
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Thank you, Virginia!
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Sweet images
Clear, vivid a brief read
Wonderful Tanka
Nah I didn’t count syllables…just being sylli, The praise is genuine though. Are you familiar with Polly Swafford, Jan? She writes beautiful haiku, too.
Mine is here: http://www.rochelle-wisoff.blogspot.com/2012/06/forgiveness.html
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Thanks, Rochelle. No, I’m not familiar with Polly Swafford. I’ll have to look her up. Thanks!
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Beautifully and economically written – loved it.
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Thank you, Sandra. I love the “economy” of haiku and tanka. 🙂
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Oops! http://castelsarrasin.wordpress.com/2012/06/29/forbidden-friday-fictioneers-june-2012/
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Hi Jan,
Beautiful words that flow trippingly as per usual. We used some of the same exact wording. Hope your son recovers quickly. My story is here: http://bridgesareforburning.wordpress.com/
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Thank you, Ron. Adam is recovering quickly — better than I expected. 🙂
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This poem even feels light and tasty 🙂 Hope your son is recovering well and you are enjoying your visit!
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Thank you, Madison. Adam is doing very well. Looking forward to heading home tomorrow. 🙂
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Pingback: #FridayFictioneers #FlashFriday No. 20 « Random Inspiration
I’m running behind today, but hope to get something posted later!
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