Heaven

PHOTO PROMPT © JS Brand

Heaven

My boat drifts toward Berrisford Harbor, as waves lap gently against the hull. I squint to make out the oceanview penthouse I once shared with Pops and imagine him staring out the window. Sixty years since I last visited my boyhood paradise, and not much has changed.

But then, everything changed after Pops died.

Yet, I can still hear his voice, clear as seagulls crying above me. “Boy! If you’re not here in five minutes, you’ll miss the boat.”

A man waves from the dock.

His silhouette is unmistakable. Pops?

“About time you got here,” he calls. “Let’s go fishing.”

THE END

Friday Fictioneers is a compilation of writers from around the world who gather online weekly, guided by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. The challenge? To write a story in 100 words or less based on a new photo prompt.

To read more stories in an online flash fiction anthology by Friday Fictioneer authors, click:

Thank you for the photo prompt, JS Brand! I had to think for a bit on this one, but a dream last night finally told me what to write about. 🙂

Advertisements
This entry was posted in fictioneers, Flash Fiction, writing and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

30 Responses to Heaven

  1. neilmacdon says:

    A satisfying story

    Liked by 1 person

  2. That was an enjoyable read. I wonder if it was Pop’s ghost – or if he was mistaken about Pop’s death?

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

    Liked by 1 person

    • Jan Vanek says:

      Thank you, Susan. When I first read your comment, I thought, “I guess I need to make it more clear that he’d made it to heaven, where Pops awaits.” But then, I decided I kind of like the vagueness and thought I’d let everyone have their own interpretation. 🙂

      Like

  3. Moon says:

    Beautiful play between the imaginary and the real in this story. Loved it.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Iain Kelly says:

    The ghost of his father lives on in the place and his memory. Beautifully done.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. michael1148humphris says:

    I read this as the narrator has now died and is traveling to join his father [pops]

    Liked by 1 person

    • Jan Vanek says:

      Thank you, Michael! You interpreted as I intended, though I’ve also enjoyed reading the different interpretations. Can’t find your story. If you can include a link, I’d love to read it!

      Like

  6. Dear Jan,

    I’m not sure if Pops is the ghost of his father or an old friend. Either way it works. Love your writing. Hope you’re feeling better.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

    • Jan Vanek says:

      My original intention was that he was the narrator’s grandfather, and his memories were of his childhood. He has died, and and “Pops” awaits him at heaven’s “dock.” But, I’ve enjoyed reading everyone’s interpretations, and its been a good exercise for me to let it go and not go back and “fix” it. 🙂

      Like

  7. Oh my! That does trigger and stimulate the imagination!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I thought he had died – from the title – and this was heaven, but I liked the slight ambiguity and it’s interesting to see how other people interpreted it. That’s one of the beauties of flash fiction for me.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Jan Vanek says:

      You guessed right, Sarah. I wondered if I was “cheating” by calling the story “Heaven.” I wondered if I gave away too much instead of “trusting” the reader. In the end, even with the title, people had different interpretations. I agree, it’s one of the things I like about flash fiction–no room given to the writer to “control” the reader. 🙂

      Like

  9. Whichever way you interpret the ending, this is a simply delightful tale.

    Click to read my 100 Word Story!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Dahlia says:

    Brought a lump to my throat.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. pennygadd51 says:

    So heaven is heaven because we make it so, by our response to it. Lovely story, Jan

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I have a sense that this is how it is when you go finally go home… fishing sounds like heaven

    Liked by 1 person

  13. granonine says:

    Really like this one 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  14. rgayer55 says:

    I got it right away. I expect my dad will be waiting by the boat when I arrive at the next life. We spent many happy days fishing together.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Jan Vanek says:

      It’s the one thing that brings me peace when I lose someone I love, Russell, that they’ll be waiting to welcome me one day. Sorry to hear your book launch was postponed due to ice. I know it will be a great launch when you’re able to have it. Wish I could be there! 🙂

      Like

  15. ahtdoucette says:

    Wow. Yeah, I definitely got that this was heaven and also the ambiguity works, in terms of being not an ending but a continuation. It evoked all kinds of comparisons to Tolkien and Celtic mythos in general. Really well done. Thanks so much for sharing this one. Wish I could give five stars!

    Liked by 1 person

Join the conversation!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s