Loving Life? (Part 1)

I recently read an article that was shared on Facebook titled, “10 Things That The People Who Love Their Lives Are Doing Differently,” by Paul Hudson, originally posted on elitedaily.com.

This article intrigued me because I do consider myself to be someone who loves my life. However, I found several items on this list that I’m not doing very well. So, I thought I’d take each “philosophy” listed and do a bit of “virtual” self-analyzing. I’ll post one item weekly.

After all, there’s always room to love my life a little more.

Here’s the first thing people who love their lives do differently:

They don’t bother trying to make others like them — mainly because they don’t care if they’re liked.

It’s ironic that this is the first “loving life philosophy” listed, because in my opinion (and the opinion of those closest to me) it’s the one I most need to improve.

So I’ll admit it. I do care if I’m liked. It kind of goes with trying to be perfect. The thing is, everyone has a different idea of what “perfect” is, so that pretty much makes trying to be perfect an impossible task.

Besides, perfect is boring. Instead, I try to remember wabi-sabi–beauty in imperfection.

Following is but a sampling of how this little quirk of mine has impacted my life:

• I keep my opinions to myself. For instance, during the last presidential election, when friends often got into heated discussions, I kept my mouth shut, though I certainly had some strong opinions. For a long time, I actually feared being shunned for my differing political beliefs, like I had a contagious disease or something. And that’s only a slight exaggeration.
• It sometimes causes writer’s block. I’ll write something and think, “No, ‘so-and-so’ won’t like it if I say that.” When a writer is afraid of what someone will think (AKA, fear of being disliked,) it’s as if an 800 lb gorilla is sitting on her keyboard. Nothing gets written.
• I disregard my needs to try to please someone else. Finally, now that I’m in my umpteenth decade, I’ve learned that this is only a temporary fix. It can take years even, but the “real” me ALWAYS finds her way out.

One of the beauties of getting older is the benefit of lessons I’ve learned along the way. Living my life so that others will like me is rather like walking on a tightrope. I feel my way, one step at a time, always afraid that a misstep will cause me to fall.

I’ve fallen many times, and sometimes, when I stood up for myself without regard to what someone else thought, I did lose them. But, I didn’t fall. I grew wings.

On this philosophy, I’ve come a long way. But I’m still a work-in-progress.

Want to play along? Just leave a comment and let me know what you think. Do you love your life? Do you agree? Disagree? Any additions?