#FlashFriday #Fictioneers: He’s Watching

I know I’m too busy when I’m too busy to write flash fiction for the Fictioneers! It’s been two weeks since I’ve participated in Madison Woods little (oh, wait, it’s BIG now) group. May is probably my busiest month this year, but I’m in a lull before things whip up again with the OWL meeting next weekend, and I couldn’t resist this week’s prompt.

Click here to read other great flash fiction.

He’s Watching

Mama calls it God’s eye — said He’s always watching. Especially on full moon nights, when strange things happen to girls like me. So, I knew when Billy stared at me like he did earlier, there was some kinda magic going on. Felt a warmth deep down inside. Was it the moonlight? Or the way he undressed me with his eyes?

It don’t matter now. As I lie here watching God look down on Billy and me, our skin white in the glow of His glare, I just hope He don’t tell Mama about what we done together tonight.

This entry was posted in fictioneers, Flash Fiction and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

36 Responses to #FlashFriday #Fictioneers: He’s Watching

  1. EmmaMc says:

    I’ve been the same of late and been struggling to get writing done as been so busy.

    I wondered where this was going at first, but this is wonderful. Torn between seduction and ‘him’ watching. Really great!



  2. Totally charming – and sweet homespun tale straight out of Faulkner!
    Might suggest putting a space between “God’s Eye” and the hyphen. it will read better.
    Yours as ever,


  3. dmmacilroy says:

    Dear Jan,

    Reminded me of Tobacco Road. Great story. Tender, in a way and moving in that it conveyed a rite of passage. The Eye of God is a good touch, too.





  4. Jeannie says:

    Good job on this. It’s rather like a Flannery O’Connor story. The whole thing works to perfection.


  5. Russell says:

    Excellent tale of young love. I’m glad God doesn’t tell Mamas what we do. It would cause even more sleepless nights and ruin Mother’s Day weekend for all you moms.

    here’s mine http://russellgayer.blogspot.com/


  6. TheOthers1 says:

    Summer loving. Only the moon and Gos will know. Nice story!

    My attempt: http://unduecreativity.wordpress.com/2012/05/11/she-called-to-him/


  7. Brandon Scott says:

    Nice story. A tale of young love amongst the darker tales us Fictioneers often weave.

    My attempt: http://authorbrandonscott.wordpress.com/2012/05/10/death-cart/


  8. KT McClure says:

    Fantastic voice, imagery and the earthy humor is perfect. I’m so glad I found Friday Fictioneers, it’s like taking a writing seminar every week!



  9. erinleary says:

    I really enjoyed it. The character was believable. I reckon she’s expectin’ a whuppin’ …


  10. Loved it! Really captured the moment and, I think, most all of us can relate. Well done!http://theforgottenwife.com/2012/05/11/friday-fictioneers/


  11. Sweet and captivating–I remember those admonitions about God seeing ALL we do and the guilt of betraying His favor. πŸ™‚ I loved your story–but then, you ALWAYS do a spectacular job.

    Thnaks for visiting my site.


  12. I hear a really authentic voice here. And congrats on your OWFI honors.
    Here’s my story: http://bridgesareforburning.wordpress.com/


  13. ruth weeks says:

    Blame it on the moonlight. I do.


  14. rochellewisoff says:

    Loved the ‘folksy’ feel to this. Nice piece.
    Here’s mine: http://www.rochelle-wisoff.blogspot.com


  15. Pingback: Flash Fiction Friday – Postcard prompt | Day in the life of a Busy Gal…

  16. Pingback: Friday Fictioneers – Answered Prayer « Write For A Cause

Join the conversation!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s