Welcome to another week of Friday Fictioneers! I’m looking forward to reading the variety of stories prompted by Madison Woods’ photo. You can read them here.
Please feel free to post a link to your blog with any comments.
Their Bench
What a hopeless romantic. How silly to think he’d be waiting for her on that bench. Did she really think it would happen that way, like in the movies? That somehow he’d remember this date– even ten years later–as if drawn by some powerful force?
But, the bench was empty.
She sat on it, alone. Closing her eyes, she listened to the sound of the ocean coming ashore and leaving, coming ashore and leaving, as though he was whispering to her.
As the sand lets go of the sea, you must let go of me.
Jan Morrill Writes 
Aww I hoped he would remember. A long lost love never really leaves does it?
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You’re right, Emma. They’re kind of hard to let go of!
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I was really expecting him to emerge from the tunnel here Jan. A tantalising back-story here. Maybe next year? … Nice work.
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Sandra, in my romantic world (oh, no . . . that character was NOT me,) he would have been there, too. But I decided to go “real” with this one. 🙂
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Blog as meta story:
No, I’m the Narrator
http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/04/12/no-im-the-narrator/
I believe Jami Attenberg did a reading at Nightbird a couple years ago.
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Edward, yes, Jamie did speak at Nightbird, and I have an autographed book to prove it. 🙂 Good article.
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Oh, I like that. Great atmosphere, and your last refrain, so touching. I am so glad you left it like that. It was perfect.
Laura
Here is mine:
http://fictionvictimtoo.blogspot.com
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Such a sad story, I really thought he’d show up at the end. But on the bright side, at least she doesn’t end up as a monster’s snack like she would in one of my stories!
http://authorbrandonscott.wordpress.com/2012/04/13/the-secret-lives-of-children/
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That’s hilarious, Brandon. You’re right — no monster snack for my character. There’s always a bright side. 🙂
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Haha! True.
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I like this – sad, but yet it’s got a hopefulness. I would think if she sat there a while longer, someone kind might walk by and ask her why she’s sad. That makes me a hopeless romantic, I suppose.
Mine is here: http://erinleary.wordpress.com/2012/04/13/flash-friday-fiction-2/
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Yay, Erin! Now there’s a happy ending — I’m with you!
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This made me sad, which I’m sure was your goal. Very good!
Here’s mine:
http://sarahthestoryteller.wordpress.com
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You’re right, Sarah. Not sure why I like sad endings — maybe it’s the Japanese in me. 🙂
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Could have been worse, at least she wasn’t left standing at the alter. Did she not know it was Friday the 13th? He was probably off on a motorcycle with some hussy.
here’s mine http://russellgayer.blogspot.com/
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I’ve decided you’re a 99%-er, Russell. You make me laugh at 99% of what you say. Can’t wait to read yours!
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I felt so sad, I actually expected him to be on that bench, you know. But I guess in life, one must learn to let go, even if it hurts. Great story!
Here is mine: http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/04/13/flash-fiction-story-eloped/
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Thank you, Celestine. I’m kind of surprised everyone seems to have expected a happy ending. Maybe down the road there will be . . .
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A bit of a surprise for me there because I was expecting a happy ending. As a result I was left feeling a little sad which is a good thing.
Here’s mine:
http://michaelsfishbowl.wordpress.com/2012/04/13/my-final-rest/
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Michael, I like stories that make me feel — whether happy or sad. So, thank you!
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So sad…very effective…I was expecting a different direction…I so appreciate the last line.
Sharing mine: http://wp.me/p1aAEA-tz
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Thank you, Kris. My thought was that the last line might add a ray of hope, even if it was the tiniest ray of hope. 🙂
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I think it did.
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Oh, I wanted him to show up–or for a handsome stranger to appear and for him to be widowed and sad as well. Of course, they’d have sparks, leave for coffee (or wine) and start anew. Hopeless romantic here.
Mine is about a couple as well and also takes a bad turn. Read it here: http://www.banterwithbeth.blogspot.com/
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There you are! I must check my spam folder more often. 🙂
Actually, that’s how I wanted my story to end, too, but, being the hopeful (you know, I’ve started to type “hopeless” romantic three separate times this morning, and each time I type “hopeful” and edit it back to “hopeless.” That’s got to mean something. This time, I decided to leave it as “hopeful.”) romantic that I am, I decided to be a little “creative,” and unfortunately, sad, this time.
Wow, that was a messy sentence, but I’m going to leave it — it’s a stream of thought sentence. 🙂
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Darn. I left a long comment about how I’d have that end but it’s lost. Great job, Jan. I could feel her emptiness.
My story, “Shell Shocked” is here: http://www.banterwithbeth.blogspot.com/
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You depict her sense of hope and loss beautifully, Jan. I think we can all sympathise with this character and as hard as it is, i’m glad you went for the non-happy-ending. I think it has power, especially the last line.
Two tiny crits – I think she would sit on the bench, not in it. And I think maybe change the title – it gives away the fact that he’s not coming.
Otherwise, you held me throughout.
I’m over here: http://elmowrites.wordpress.com/2012/04/13/friday-fiction-the-tunnel/
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Thank you, elmowrites. I really do appreciate critique, and I agree with both of your suggestions for change. Heading to edit now. Thanks again!
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…that last line…wow.
Here’s mine:http://teschoenborn.com/2012/04/13/friday-fictioneers-3/
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Thank you, teschoenborn. That was the one line that came through loud and clear!
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What a sad story. I guess I am a hopeless romantic as well. Thank you for sharing.
http://remakingme-atiyatownes.blogspot.com/2012/04/friday-flash-fiction-rural-route-27.html
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Thanks, Atiya. I like happy endings far better, too. But, I’ve always wondered about the appeal of the romantic genre, where all endings are happy. It seems to me that takes a lot of the tension out of the story, if the reader always knows how it ends. But, that’s just me. 🙂
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I love the repetition in the sound of the shoreline flowing and ebbing, really made me picture it vividly. There’s certainly an air of intrigue about the story as a whole too, as we wonder who this stranger is and why the date is so important…
Mine’s this-a-way:
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Thank you, Gary. I used to live (relatively) close to an ocean, and I always thought the sound was like a whisper — or a roar, depending on the size of the waves. 🙂
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Wow, such sorrow and wisdom in so few words. Nicely done, Jan.
Here’s mine:
http://siobhanmuir.blogspot.com/2012/04/running-100words-for-fridayfictioneers.html
Siobhan
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You’ve written an entrancing yet sad romance here. The motion of the waves seemed almost like a metaphor for what their relationship might have been like. Perhaps he was based at sea? The final line is perfect 🙂 Very well done.
Here’s my story this week:
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I very much liked your flash.
It had me thinking he was infact there, disembodied perhaps, having rode the breeze with the salt and sea air from somewhere far or near. Sitting beside her, silent, yet maybe holding her hand. Wanting to be with her bodily.
Bittersweet.
Thank you for sharing.
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A lovely bittersweet story. I was hoping he would turn up but I felt the last line at least gave her some closure. Truly lovely.
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It was sad, Jan, but there’s promise in that story too. If she lets go, then the door will open to new possibilities. It was a touching scene. The empty benches caught my eye too.
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My heart is broken! You captured the emotion so well!
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My heart is broken! You captured the emotion so well.
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Loved the last line!
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Actually, I’m glad her didn’t show up. This is more real, and I love how the sound of the sea whispered to her – and what it said. I think she knew this, she just needed to go there to be sure.
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Not all endings are happy, that’s reality. What a sweet story.
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Thank you, Rochelle. Though I usually prefer happy endings, sometimes I like to step outside of my comfort zone. 🙂
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For some reason I had the feeling ther person she wanted to meet was dead but she couldn’t let go. When she heard the voice from the ocean, she knew she could now move on.
Here’s mine: http://postcardfiction.com/2012/04/13/the-incident/
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I thought it kind of sounded like he was dead, too, though that was not originally my intention. But, I think it works either way. Thanks!
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Wow….a mindblower. I guess you’ve been reading a page from my life.. I’ve been there, done that. He didn’t show and as painful as it was, as ‘the sand let go of the sea’… I also had to move on. Touching and bittersweet, Jan. Here’s mine:
http://www.triplemoonstar.blogspot.com
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I wonder if you’d have more words to work with, would her friend show up too? Maybe not, but this one left me wondering and wanting more. Good job.
Mine: http://shirleymccann.blogspot.com/2012/04/nightmare.html
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