I’m sorry to be so late in getting my flash fiction posted for the Fictioneers. Though this was one of my favorite photo prompts by Madison Woods, sometimes life gets in the way of our writing. Throughout the week, I hope to make my way through all of the stories prompted by this photo.
Resting Place
He wondered if he looked as worn as the old truck; sure felt as rusted. When he opened the door to get in, it groaned, just like he did when he got out of bed after a long, restless night.
“Morning, Sally.” Same words he’d whispered every morning of the fifty-five years he woke next to her. He took a deep breath and ran his crooked fingers over tattered upholstery. “We had us some good times in this here front seat, didn’t we?”
He watched the urn that rested where Sally used to sit, as if waiting for an answer.
Jan Morrill Writes 
Dear Jan,
That was a sweet, poignant tale. Reminded me of my father as I read it, faithful to the end to his lovely wife, Jean. It also made me think he was going to restore the truck just to hang on to something of her. Lovely.
Aloha,
Doug
http://ironwoodwind.wordpress.com/2012/03/30/pure-coincidence/
LikeLike
Thank you, Doug. Yours was poignant, too, but filled with powerful feelings and images. A difficult, though important history to remember.
LikeLike
Beautiful, Jan. And I love all the allusions to the years that have passed and the time the three of them spent (and still spend) together.
I love the new site, btw!
I’m not going to give you the link to my drabble from Friday Fictioneers because it fell far short of the mark. I’ll be extending it by about 100 words and releasing a revision during the week. If you are inclined, in the meantime, this is a drabble I wrote independent of the FFs: http://quillshiv.wordpress.com/2012/02/23/the-walker/
LikeLike
Thanks, Rinn. I read both your “drabble” you linked, and the photo prompt flash fiction you wrote. Both are beautiful, though the “drabble” was my favorite of the two. I thought “For A Moment” stood well on its own, but I agree, a few more words might be even better – to leave the reader with even more curiosity of the backstory.
LikeLike
Oh Jan, tears stung my eyelids and a loving, cozy feeling wrapped round my heart at the end. In only a 100 words are so you evoked these emotions. Don’t let anyone tell you, you can’t write!
LikeLike
It was strange how this story came to me, Ruth. All of a sudden I saw this man sitting next to his wife’s ashes in the front seat of the truck. One of the special times when my character told me his story.
LikeLike
Well told, Jan. Effective first paragraph, which I can relate to, I’m afraid.
LikeLike
Ted, I’m afraid I can relate to it, also. I’ve been out gardening all day, and I’m already groaning like that old truck. 🙂
LikeLike
🙂
LikeLike
The first sentence is a catcher for me…i love it! The story is sweet and i wish he would let go of his pent up emotions
https://seewilliams.wordpress.com/2012/03/30/iron-wall/
LikeLike
Ahhh. So sweet. What a touching story. You and I had a similar, albeit different take on this prompt. I loved “…ran his crooked fingers over the tattered upholstery.” Great dialogue, too.
Mine is here: http://www.banterwithbeth.blogspot.com
LikeLike
Rats. See if my comment is in your spam folder. Loved this! So sweet and touching. More details in my previous comment. 😦
http://www.banterwithbeth.blogspot.com
LikeLike
Hey Jan. So nice to see you on WordPress, if for no other reason than it is a heck of a lot easier to comment on your stories here. And your stories are always worth a comment. I really like this one. Touching, bittersweet, even romantic in a way. I felt sorry for the MC but I also admired his devotion. Really nice!
Here is my contribution if you’d care to have a look:http://wp.me/pReXn-eZ
LikeLike
How sad. I didn’t expect that ending. A moving story.
Mine: http://shirleymccann.blogspot.com/2012/03/fitting-end.html
LikeLike
Pingback: Monday Morning Mashup – 4/2/12 | Jan Morrill Writes
wow, that was a powerful story. Sad & sweet at the same time. Very well done.
http://russellgayer.blogspot.com/
LikeLike
Beautifully done——–as always. Very poignant but it avoids maudlin–Love it!
Mine: http://www.vlgregory-circa1800.vpweb.com/blog.html
LikeLike
Sweetly sad story. Love the distillation of so much life and love and experience into so few words.
LikeLike
Thank you, Keli. That’s why I like these flash fiction challenges. It forces me to be sparce with my words. 🙂
LikeLike
Hi Jan, I’m tardy getting to comments on your story. Loved it. A sad tale, but it felt good, like those two had had a good life together.
LikeLike
Pingback: Friday Fiction – Lost | Day in the life of a Busy Gal…