Secret Saturday – 2/4/12: "Closet Secrets"

Well, I’m a day late with my new feature, “Secret Saturday,” because the Internet Squirrels quit running at the farm yesterday. But, now that I’m back in the virtual world again, here we go:

I love secrets. I love to hear them, and love to tell them . . . to the right people. I see secrets as tidibits, juicy morsels of information that bring us closer to each other.

So, I decided to start a new feature, “Secret Saturday,” where we can all share a little secret. It doesn’t have to be a big secret, just anything we might not already know–about you, about history, about the world. Share a secret from your childhood, if that feels safer. Or a secret recipe. Or, what the heck . . . give us a whopper.

In Broken Dolls, when my character, Sachiko, finally reveals who she “really is,” she writes this haiku:

A porcelain mask
Once broken, but now removed
My true face revealed

We can all remove our masks, even in tiny ways. It can be fun, but it can also be freeing. Share something with us . . . anything. And feel free to share a link to your own website or blog, too.

By the way, did you know that on average, a woman can only keep a secret for 32 minutes? Read about it on the Huffington Post. Click here.

When I was a young teenager, I had a secret place where I went to write things that I didn’t want anybody else to know. But today, I’ll take you with me, back to my house on Coolidge Street in California . . . to my bedroom . . . into my closet. There, behind my hanging clothes, I would write on the wall. Yes, the wall, where I wasn’t supposed to write, which made my secret place all the more delightful, all the more mine.
Of course, as a young teen girl, most of what I wrote was who I had a crush on:
But I also wrote down my dreams, wishes and other things I thought people would think silly if they knew. I wished my parents would not argue. I wished we didn’t have to move to Japan. (That wish came true, but now I wish we had moved there — an experience lost.)
I wrote down my anger about things I couldn’t outwardly be angry about, like every time I wanted to scream at my mom for grounding me.
After I’d written what I held inside, I moved the clothes back in place, and my closet held my secrets safe. When it was time for me to leave home, I took a big, pink eraser, shoved the hanging clothes aside, and erased what I’d shared in my secret world.
I don’t know if anyone ever knew about that tiny place where I spilled my heart, but I suspect not. I was a typical teenager with sisters and a brother, and that information was too valuable not to use as ammunition against me in sibling battles. None of my co-combatants ever used it against me. So, either they never found it, or they had bigger hearts than I gave them credit for.
This entry was posted in Broken Dolls, Haiku, nostalgia, Secrets. Bookmark the permalink.

15 Responses to Secret Saturday – 2/4/12: "Closet Secrets"

  1. As a child,and okay as a teenager too, I talked to my Saimese cat, Tut. Come to think of it that cat's was the only ear I ever whispered into that could keep a secret.


  2. Jan Morrill says:

    Good, old Tut. I guess even as a child I knew others couldn't keep my secrets. Thank goodness for my closet. Oh . . . and my diary. But that's a whole other story!


  3. Quill Shiv says:

    When I was a kid and wrote in my diary, my mom told me I probably only wrote complaints in it. Well, I had been. I was moody. So, I assumed she had been reading it, and from then on, addressed her in the diary. “Mom, since you are reading this, I would like you to know…”


  4. ed_quixote says:

    But beware the hazards of revealing a secret:

    Secret – Official Video by The Pierces


  5. Jan Morrill says:

    My mom admitted to reading my diary. 😦 Took me years to write in one again. Wish I'd been as clever as you were in “catching” her. πŸ™‚


  6. Jan Morrill says:

    That's the creepy side of secrets. Good video though. πŸ™‚


  7. Madison Woods says:

    Jan I used to have a secret place to write (besides my journal) when I was a kid, too. I'd crawl inside the pop-up camper while it was 'down' and write in my notebooks with a flashlight. I had forgotten all about that until you mentioned your secret writing place!


  8. Jan Morrill says:

    Aw, Madison. I can just picture you doing that. πŸ™‚ Do you still have any of your journals? I do. It's fun (and funny) to go back and read them.


  9. Victor says:

    Jan, I use to write poetry during 9th grade unbeknownst to others until now. It was all because of a crush I had on a classmate. I used to admire her from behind while seated on the opposite corner of the classroom. I eventually wrote a poem for her, but never found the courage to deliver it. No one ever knew. I wish I had kept it to see how I expressed myself then.


  10. Jan Morrill says:

    That's a sweet secret, Victor. I still have many of my diaries and journals from back then. I wrote a lot of poetry, too. When I read some of it, I think, “Wow, did I really write that?” And with some of it, just makes me laugh. πŸ™‚ Thanks for sharing your secret. πŸ™‚


  11. Palooski65 says:

    I had 2 brothers and a sister; then 5 kiddoes; finally, 10 grandchildren——I don't think I've ever been able to keep a secret about myself. I'm a GREAT confidant of other people's secrets, though.


  12. Madison Woods says:

    Hey! Blogger put in a reply button πŸ™‚

    I still have the journals from when I was very young, but I burned all of them from my college years onward a few years ago. Big mistake and I regret it now.


  13. Jan Morrill says:

    Palooski65, that doesn't surprise me at all that you'd be a great confidant! πŸ™‚


  14. Jan Morrill says:

    I know! I was thrilled when I saw the button. I'm sure people must have complained about it, and even threatened to move their blogs.

    As you know, I burned some of my journals too, when they were “discovered.” For many years, I regretted it, but it's so far in the past now, I don't miss them.


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