Relic

I have to admit, this week’s flash fiction prompt photo was a challenge!

An old stick of dynamite!

Visit Madison Woods’ blog to read some great flash fiction based on her photo prompt!

Relic

     I found it in the damp, smelly darkness, as I crawled on my belly searching for the stench of something that died under the porch. Had I known what it was, I might not have dragged it into the light.
     
     What surprised me more—that it was an old stick of dynamite, or that it was wrapped by a letter?

     “If I cannot have Sarah and the child she carries, no one shall.”
     Sarah. My mother.

     I stared at the letter. Was the relic of failed destruction it had wrapped all that I had of a father I never knew?
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12 Responses to Relic

  1. Wow. You've opened enough cans of worms that it could lead to another 450 pages!

  2. That's awesome, Jan! Both chilling and suspenseful.

  3. Oscar says:

    That's a powerful stick of dynamite that carries more stories than a cup of TNTea.

  4. Dear Jan,Welcome back and good job! It's a strange letter she found, as it would have disappeared entirely had the dynamite been used as intended. Has the earmarks of a cry for help and since it never exploded, leaves me to wonder where her poor tortured father is now. Great story from a challenging prompt.Aloha, Doug

  5. Robin Hawke says:

    Very resonant stuff…great job, Robin

  6. Linda Palund says:

    This is great. A really moody and concise creation growing out of the prompt. I have only one issue and that is the last sentence:"Was the relic of failed destruction it had wrapped all that I had of a father I never knew?"I think you could do it in this:Was this relic of failed destruction all I had left of a father I never knew?Laura

  7. Linda Palund says:

    By the way, I love the search for something dead under the porch!I love this story, believe me!Laura

  8. thecolorlime says:

    I think sometimes we produce our best work when we feel challenged! This is really well done, interesting and surprising.Here's mine (I posted late): http://thecolorlime.wordpress.com/2011/10/29/flash-fiction-discovered-99-words/

  9. Ruth says:

    Woo-hoo, Jan is back!Love the story, mysterious and spooky.

  10. Palooski65 says:

    Great story! It would certainly develope into a suspenseful novel.

  11. Russell says:

    Well, you never know what you're going to come across when crawling around looking for something dead. Makes me wonder what else you got under that porch?I stumbled on the last sentence too, but looks like you got some good feedback on how to fix it.

  12. Jan Morrill says:

    Thanks for the feedback, everyone. I agree-I was not happy with the ending either. The back story on that is, I had to rush the ending because our ride had arrived at the hotel in LA early! I'll have to work on the ending.Looking forward to our next Flash Fiction Friday!

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