"REAL SIMPLE Quote of the Day" Post: Relating

“Just because we were related

didn’t mean we were any good

at understanding each other.”

                   ― Anne Tyler

Circa 1973

I receive a “Quote of the Day” each morning from Real Simple magazine. This morning’s quote immediately brought to mind my relationship with my sister, Cyndie. Being the oldest sibling, I was the “no fun disciplinarian” of the bunch, and the quote has probably been appropriate for each of my siblings at one time or another in our lives. But Cyndie is who first came to mind.

Since I was the oldest and she was next oldest, we were destined to share bedrooms all of our childhood, and you could not have thrown two more different girls together in a small space. “The Odd Couple” does not sufficiently describe us.

Cyndie was the free spirit – the “Oscar Madison” – the popular party girl with lots of friends. Probably her attitude about high school was to enjoy, to have fun, to “find” herself.

I, on the very opposite other hand, was the “Felix Ungar” – always living by the code of “should”, neat freak, studious and hidden behind a wall of what was expected.

Though our tastes in clothes and boys were so different we thought the other to be “gross,” somehow we still managed to argue about not “borrowing” each other’s clothes. Fortunately, we never “borrowed” each other’s boyfriends – not that I know of anyway.

A perfect example of the antagonistic nature of our sisterhood:  Several times after a date, one or the other of us extended beyond the bounds of our curfew, at which time the front door would be locked. Of course, the very few times it happened to me, I assumed the resolution to my dilemma was to climb the back fence and knock on our bedroom window. Surely my dear sister would let me in. No way.

But I didn’t let her in either.

I’m not sure what Cyndie’s reaction to that “knock-knock” cry for help was, but mine was to lie in bed snickering and thinking, “Serves her right.”

Though we are still as different as can be, our story has a happy ending. From previous blogs, (Sister Left, Sister Right) many of you know that Cyndie’s political leanings are to the left, and mine are to the right. When we travel, she prefers to dive in to the culture – to meet residents, even live with them. I prefer to remain with a group and stay in a hotel. She is still a free spirit, and I still work to tear down the wall of expectations.

But today, we are as close as sisters can (and “should”) be. We admire, respect and learn from each other. It has taught me that whether we’re related or not, accepting and learning from our differences in fact, leads to better understanding.

Circa 2009