Over-the-Hill Ponderings


“I must be getting old.”

I can’t tell you how often I say that to myself. These days, there are so many signs that I am now on the other side of that proverbial hill, I thought I’d list a few of the less embarrassing ones to see how many we share:

1) Recently, my husband and I attended a movie theater. One of the ELEVEN commercials that played before the previews was by VitaminWater. I’m sharing the youtube link with you, to see if you agree – we must be getting old.

www.youtube.com/user/vitaminwater?feature=pyv&ad={creative}&kw={keyword}#p/u/0/b28ACzLoyGQ&WT.srch=1

After watching this commercial in the movie theater, I asked myself, “Since when is ‘playing hookie’ so acceptable, it’s actually a positive marketing ploy for a vitamin drink?” I looked at my husband and said, “I must be getting old.”

2) How many times a day do I ask myself, “What’s this world coming to?” I remember a time when only old people asked that question. Oh wait, I forgot. I am old.

3) The last presidential election was the first time we elected a president younger than I. And why do all the “talking head experts” look like they’re 25? How much of an expert can a 25-year old be?

4) When I was young(er), I used to snicker at old women drivers who sat so close to the steering wheel and so straight it looked like they had washboards tucked in their shirts. Go ahead and snicker, because I’m one of those old lady drivers now.

5) I carry a little notebook with me everywhere. Whenever I think of something I need to remember, I jot it down. That is, if I can remember what it was long enough to dig the notebook out of my very large purse – another sign of getting old.

6) I can no longer hold something far enough away that I can read it. I’m not sure if this is because my eyesight has gotten so bad, or because my arms are shrinking. Either way, I find myself adding a pair of reading glasses every year I grow older. That way, I can keep one in every room, and I don’t have to remember where I put my last pair.

7) In a few years, my children will be the age I was when I first started realizing I might be getting old.

But, not to wallow in my senioritis. There are a few wonderful things about getting older, too:

1) I don’t procrastinate (as much,) because unlike when I was 20, or even 30, I understand in my 50’s that I will not live forever, and if I want to do something, I’d better do it now.

2) As I get older, patience is an odd dichotomy. On one hand, I have more patience – many things are simply not worth getting upset about. On the other hand, I have less patience with some things, and have taken on the attitude, “I don’t have to put up with this sh$@!!” Either way, it’s a good thing!

3) Time passes more quickly on this side of the hill, and that has made me realize how precious life is, and that I should appreciate each day. Even if I do have to find where I put my dad-blasted reading glasses to see it!

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10 Responses to Over-the-Hill Ponderings

  1. ed_quixote says:

    I dunno. There's old and there's REALLY old. To the latter the babes in the photo look like jailbait.

  2. I hate to tell you this, but 50 is young, you young whippersnapper. Live on, laugh on and think young, cause you are.

  3. Jan Morrill says:

    Mr. Ed – oh boy – I'll pass that on to my friends!Thank you, Velda. I know I'd better enjoy "youth" while I can – I just find it humorous how often I tell myself I must be getting old. 🙂

  4. Anonymous says:

    You go to your hometown and wonder when the station that used to be the oldies station changed formats.. and then it hits you..At 50, I try not to procrastinate but time goes so fast that by the time I do it, it seems as if I procrastinated.I think there was a line in "Gilmore Girls" that "50 is what 30 was 20 years ago"

  5. Jan Morrill says:

    Thanks, Anonymous! I agree, it's a bit of a shocker when you hear "your songs" as "oldies!"

  6. Anonymous says:

    Yup, it was an eye opener (so to speak/write), but I'm just saying, I can handle the radio station, but the day I walk into a nursing home and they're playing my music for the residents… welcome to the bottom of the hill.Haha! I don't want to be sitting in a still-and-quiet room full of people who are laying in their chairs with drool so slow it doesn't really drip – while "Sugar Sugar" or "Yummy Yummy Yummy" plays faintly over and over all day down the brightly lit halls – while some artificially happy adult-child wearing white makes me catch a ball for a few minutes every day.. Lose my short-term memory?.. I should be so lucky.

  7. dormouse says:

    I hope my mind and body 'come out even'– though I think I'd rather be disabled but cognitively able rather than the reverse. Not there, yet, so who knows…..

  8. Jan Morrill says:

    LOL, Anonymous. You must be a writer the way you described that "still-and-quiet" room.dormouse – I have to agree with you. I'd rather keep my cognitive abilities over my physical abilities.

  9. rambuna says:

    really I don't feel old…just 5 years younger than you. Just feel young and you are too!

  10. Patty says:

    I used to tease a co-worker and ask her if she needed me to hold the document she was reading. Her arms weren't long enough. Now, I have bifocals and have reading glasses scattered throughout the farm. I sure wish some of that wisdom that's supposed to come with age would show up!

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